Making the First Move

Greetings,

Well, with a title like that, anyone could be forgiven for thinking that I was talking about a boardgame. I will let you know right now that I am not. I am talking about a different subject which will affect anyone who has friends, and especially friends who do not live close. This blog is about the consideration of others and many reasons why contact may or may not have happened recently.

People make contact with one another, find similar interests, likes and dislikes and through this friendships are sometimes formed. The most important thing to realise at the beginning is that friendships require effort on the part of both people involved in the relationship, and this is not even discussing a love interest. What this also means is that it requires contact from both people in the friendship not just one. This is an important point that should be emphasised.

Say you have a friend that you have not spoken to in quite a while. You may get concerned as to whether they are your friend or not. This may be because they have not contacted you in a while. My question in this particular situation is, have you contacted them? This, once again, comes back to realising that a friendship requires effort on the parts of both people involved. You should not expect your friend to call you, unless you have called them, and then not even then. It is foolish to let a friendship die just because you are too silly or stubborn not to pick up the phone or send an e-mail.

Next we move on to reasons and considerations. Being ignored is not great, but it is something that a person can live with if they have to. Is this reasoning because you have not been contacted? The question in this particular situation is are you really being ignored? There are endless reasons for a person not to contact you, including that you have not contacted them. The big question in this particular situation is, what have you done about it? Have you made an effort? Once again it is a two-way street. If the friend has not contacted you and you are concerned you should go to the effort of contacting them yourself. The feeling of ignorance could be the same on the part of your friend.

Well, this has been a couple of short points that people should consider. I have written it from my own point of view. It is important that you should remember that a friendship is a two-way thing and it is expected that there will be effort on both parts of the involved people. If you have not heard from a friend, contact them, have a chat, see how they are going. You never know you might re-kindle a friendship.

Cheers,

...Henry.